Reprinted and adapted with permission from Sweet Secrets: Stories of Menstruation by Kathleen O'Grady and Paula Wansbrough (Sumach Press, 1997). <http://www.sumachpress.com/sweetsec.htm>

Figuring Things Out

Signals: How to Tell When Your Period is Coming

Some women's cycles never follow a predictable pattern. Teenagers might find this is especially true. You may be worried that at any moment you'll suddenly start to bleed right through your jeans!

However, your body usually gives you signals to let you know that the blood's on its way. You just have to figure out what these signals are. Every woman's menstrual signals are different and these signals change over time. Pay close attention to your body and your emotional ups-and-downs to learn what your signals are. Figuring out these signals will prepare you for your next menstrual period.

I've figured it out. I know about two days before when I'm going to have my period. It's not regular at all, but I can tell when it's coming. My wisdom teeth are growing in so my gums hurt and bleed two days before; then I'm bleeding from both ends! It's horrible, I'm in so much pain! And then there's getting to sleep at night with the backache. And nothing works for it. I can be taking pain killers all day, but it's just this dull ache. The breast enlargement is a pain. It's like waking up some mornings and going, “Oh my god, I'm a size bigger! What the hell is this!” Once my period begins the emotional ups-and-downs go away. My breasts go back to normal. As soon as my period starts, everything goes back to normal, but I still get that dull backache.
--Tiffanie (age 16)

Here are some signals women may experience a few days before the first day of bleeding. You may experience some of these sensations regularly when you menstruate, or you may experience none at all!

• *lower backache
• *vivid dreams
• *feeling hyper and full of energy with little need for sleep
• *feeling tired, sleeping a lot more than usual for a few days
• *pimples
• *intense sexual arousal (feeling horny)
• *depression, sadness and crying for no reason
• *clumsiness
• *urinating more often
• *diarrhea or constipation
• *ESP – you just know who that is on the phone!
• *change in appetite, cravings for particular kinds of food, especially
  chocolate!
• *daydreaming, thoughtfulness, active imagination
• *feeling like dancing, drawing, painting or writing poetry
• *headaches and nausea
• *bloating in the breasts, belly, feet and fingers
• *cramps!
• *assertiveness, aggressiveness, standing up for yourself and others
• *temper tantrums
• *giggling fits

You may discover a pattern to your behavior and moods based on your cycle. The day before your period you might get angry easily, but when you're bleeding you may feel like writing poetry and dancing.

Some women's monthly periods arrive at the same time as their best friends', their roomates' or their sisters'. Others discover that their cycles follow the phases of the moon. Understanding your period and seeing how it is with other women can give you a feeling of secret connection and mysterious power!

My last heavy period was in 1987 when I went to the Michigan Women's festival. My period wasn't even due. At one of the concerts the MC asked: “Who's menstruating? About a third of the women hollered and put up their hands. Then she said: “Who didn't expect to menstruate?” About half of those women put up their hands. You get 7,000 women together and something weird happens.
--Ruth (50s)

Cramps

One of the most common complaints about menstruation has to do with cramps. Dysmenorrhea is a very big word for these rotten pains in the lower abdomen. Cramps are natural things that happen to almost everyone at some time, although some women never have any pain at all. Cramps can come during or before the bleeding starts.

Susan: I'm glad I don't get really bad cramps because I know people who have to stay home because of them.

Jeananne: Cramps feel like I've been holding it in and not going to the bathroom for a really long time. It feels like bad gas and you want to let it out. But it won't come out.

--Susan and Jeananne (age 13 and 14)

The key with menstrual cramps seems to be to get your body to relax. There are a lot of different ways to try to relax. Some will work better for you than others. However, sometimes it just seems impossible to unwind!

You have awful cramps right now. What to do?

*Go for a walk. Breathe deeply, feeling your chest fill with air. Look at the sights around you. Loosen your limbs. Relax….

*Aerobics anyone? Some women find that vigorous exercise is the best cure for cramps. It refreshes you – mind and body – and after, your muscles will naturally relax.

*Take a hot bath. Throw in some aromatherapy bath scents made especially for easing cramps. The heat of the water helps your to body relax. A hot water bottle or a warm purring cat placed over your tummy may also do the trick. (But don't take the cat into the bath tub!)

*Drink raspberry leaf tea. For some, this works like magic.

In the long term, there are other things you can do:

*Talk to your mom and other female relatives. Find out what they've done for cramps. What works for one family member might help another. Who knows what secrets Great Aunt Cecile has!

*What you eat affects your whole body. For some people, caffeine products like chocolate, cola, coffee and tea may cause rotten cramps and lousy moods before their periods. Eat fruit and veggies instead of junk food and try to maintain a balanced diet.

*Exercise daily. Rollerblade, play tag football or hackey-sac, or walk the dog. We sometimes spend too much time indoors. There's a big beautiful world out there!

*Don't smoke. This nasty habit isn't just bad for your lungs, but also for your skin, gums and breath, and is related to menstrual cramping.

*Use this calendar to chart your periods. Try to see if there are any patterns to your pain, your diet, your activities and moods. Compare your cycle to your friends'.

*If your cramps are really awful, you feel faint, nauseous, have diarrhea or are throwing up, and none of this stuff helps, talk to your doctor. There are pain-relieving drugs you can take, both prescription and those found on the shelf at the drugstore. Always ask your doctor or pharmacist what does and doesn't mix with any other drugs that you may be taking.

Period Positive!

Not all menstrual sensations are bad. Many women also feel more creative or energetic, caring or sexy around their periods. Your body may seem more sensitive and aware, and your senses especially sharp. During so much of our daily schedules, we often forget that we have bodies and spend too much time inside of our heads. Periods have a way of reminding us that our brain and our body are connected. When we remember this connection, the feeling of wholeness that we experience gives us a new and special way of looking at the world.

After the first day of bleeding I feel a rush of energy – I feel like I can accomplish anything. I have come to appreciate this “second day strength” and I look forward to it because on that day anything is possible.
--Carolyn (20s)

Often we women are taught that menstruating is a nuisance and so we only notice the unpleasant aspects of it. Try hard to pay attention to the other experiences you have around your period. You may be pleasantly surprised!

Pads and Tampons

There are many different ways to take care of your menstrual blood. The two main ways are pads and tampons. You can buy both kinds of products in the grocery store or pharmacy. Some young women find it helpful to experiment with pads or tampons before their period begins so that they're prepared. It's a good idea to have some in your bathroom or purse or knapsack in case your period arrives unexpectedly. Other women often have pads or tampons with them and are always happy to share with someone in need. Don't be shy to ask – we all know what it feels like to be caught by surprise!

A tampon is a small length of compressed cotton with a string attached to the end of it. You insert the tampon into your vagina with an applicator or your fingers so that just the string hangs out of your body. The cotton absorbs your menstrual blood and when it's full, you pull it out by the string and throw it away. It's very important not to leave the tampon inside your vagina for more than four hours at a time because a nasty bacteria can develop. This bacteria causes a rare but life-threatening illness called Toxic Shock Syndrome. Use the lightest absorbency of tampon that you can and switch to pads at night.

Each box of tampons contains instructions. When you first try to insert one, be sure you are in a space that gives you lots of room and privacy. Read the instructions carefully. When you insert the tampon, it's helpful to stand with one foot on the toilet seat lid or the edge of the bathtub because this opens up your vagina a little. Use a hand-held mirror to help you find your vaginal opening and feel around gently with your fingers. It's essential that you put the tampon into your vagina, not into your anus, the hole between your buttocks. Using tampons requires some practice. It may take you a few times to get the tampon in so that it feels comfortable.

My most memorable period was the first time I ever used tampons. I was twelve and had had perhaps two or three periods. I was a member of a swim club and we were to participate in a swim meet over the weekend. I was excited but during a visit to the bathroom I discovered a brown stain in my panties. What a disaster! You couldn't go swimming if you had your period, I thought.

I couldn't face watching my teammates compete while I sat in the bleachers. I decided that the only way I would be able to carry on with the weekend was to use tampons. I went into the drugstore, bought the tampons and brought them back to my room. I locked myself in the bathroom and poured over the instructions. My mother claims I told her that, “I had a horrible time getting it in and afterwards, I was all hot!”

No one knew about my secret that weekend. I swam with the rest of them. I even won a couple of ribbons. I am very proud of that weekend. Who says you can't go swimming when you have your period!
--Debra (30s)

Some women feel more comfortable using pads. Pads are flat, compact layers of cotton that have a sticky strip on one side. The sticky side attaches to the crotch of your underwear and the pad catches your blood as it flows our of your vagina.

In my twenties I gave up tampons because I missed those cozy white cushions between my legs and the feeling of blood gently flowing out. I was also tired of struggles in the cramped public washrooms, trying to find the damn string and trying to pull it at the right angle so that the bloated cotton ball would come out easily.
--Yolande (30s)

Just like tampons, pads should be changed every few hours. Store-bought pads are thrown away after each use, but some women make their own cloth pads and wash them so that they are reused for their next cycle.

Keeping Track

When I first came to Canada, it was really hard. I had no friends. Everybody knew how to speak English but me. I started right into school, into grade eight. I got a lot of pressure from other kids to do things. I wanted to be cool, so I got into drugs and smoking. Then I got into trouble from my parents who said they would move us back to Portugal if I didn't stop. My marks at school were bad. I wanted more freedom but my father wouldn't let me go out and we fought a lot. This went on for about three years. It was a very bad experience.

During this time, my periods were so painful. Oh my god, it was awful! At first, I didn't realize that my painful periods had to do with stress. Then I stared enjoying more sports and left behind the bad crowd. The sports helped a bit. Then I started getting counseling and that really helped too. With that I had an agenda and I had to mark every month when my periods came. After a while I started to notice the patterns. I looked at my past agenda and saw that I would cry almost every day and be stressed out. On the new agenda everything was good. I compared them and saw how different they were.
--Claudia (age 17)

If you keep track of your menstruation times, you can learn a lot of about your general health. Check out our period calendar. When you have your period, mark each bleeding day on the calendar. After a few bleeding cycles, you may begin to see a pattern, say that your period comes about every thirty-two days, or maybe that it always comes near the end of the month. This will help you to predict when your next period is due.

However, some women's menstrual cycles are very irregular – especially when they first start menstruating. It's important to learn what is natural and normal for you.

If your period's late or your cycle develops an irregularity, this might mean that something's up: Are you under a lot of stress and need to relax? Are you getting enough rest, exercise and food? Are you pregnant? Your menstrual cycle is like an internal doctor who gives you health reports throughout the month.

Copyright © 1997 by Kathleen O'Grady and Paula Wansbrough