Sometimes you may feel very alone dealing with your cancer, even if you are surrounded by family and friends.

Many women find nighttime the hardest. One woman suggested having music, a good book, comfort food or anything else that will help you feel safe when you wake up in the middle of the night. It may help to line up a few friends who don't mind if you call late at night.

"I would be alone in the middle of the night and be afraid...It's not that people didn't want to be there with me...It's just that I felt so alone....Within, so apart." - Lindap

Talking with other women who have had gynecological cancer can be really helpful. It can be a real relief to talk with someone whose reactions you do not have worry about, someone who has been there and understands in a way that friends and family cannot.

Sometimes you may want to be alone, on your own in a quiet place to sort through all of your feelings. Try to create alone time for yourself when you need it.

"Even though life is out of control, there are still ways to make choices." - Patti

Consider seeking professional help to help cope with your changing feelings, roles, relationships and self-image. A counsellor can also give you the opportunity to deal with feelings that are difficult to express to family, your spouse, partner or friends.

"Seeing a counsellor has helped, because my partner and I were not talking about it."

You may also want to check out a support group, a spirituality group, or art therapy. Most urban centres offer a wide variety of support services. Some services are listed at the end of this booklet.

"I've been trying to do things that make me happy." - Carol

Writing in a journal can also be a source of comfort. You may want to keep one journal for your personal feelings and another for a log of doctor's appointments and treatments.

p p "The mind is busy and powerful - put it to work in a positive, hopeful way." - Chris

For some women, "being positive," having a hopeful outlook, is very important. At the same time, keeping your negative feelings bottled up can be very hard on you. It is important to allow yourself to feel sad and scared so that you can deal with these feelings, and other people can help you through them. One woman said that this time, though terrible, can be an opportunity to work through old feelings and move on to focusing on healing and creating a better future.

Seeking support is also extremely important. The next section of this booklet discusses this issue.

At a practical level, you may want to try to establish a good diet for yourself.

If you are interested, do some research, and/or talk with people about alternative remedies, therapies and treatments. Complementary therapies may help you feel that you are taking an active role in your health, especially when medical treatment is completed.

As well, once your treatment is over, you may find that your feelings about what you have been through come to the surface. Most of the women we spoke with talked about gynecological cancer as a journey. Talking, thinking, and reading can help you adjust to your changed sense of self and the changes in your body.

"At times I never thought I would get through it. But I did - somehow you find what you need, in yourself and around you." - Lily

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