"I was only 20 when I had the hysterectomy. I wanted the choice about whether or not I had children...the choice was taken away from me." - Lily

Regardless of whether you already have children or whether you wanted children before your diagnosis, it may be traumatic if the ability to give birth is taken away. It is very common to need to grieve this loss of fertility. While the feelings of grief do not necessarily go away, they may lessen over time and become easier to recognize and handle.

"Since I was a girl I always thought I would grow up and be a mother. I was devastated when I found out I would never have my own children...Now if the pain or sadness of, say, going to a baby shower is too great, it is okay for me not to go." - Carole

You may want to consider other options for including children in your life, such as adoption, fostering children or spending time with children in your extended family or community.

Depending on your diagnosis and treatment, other childbearing options may be available to you. When you are ready and if you want to, you can explore these options with a health professional.

Your treatment may also cause you to experience early menopause. Symptoms of menopause might include sleeplessness, hot flashes, night sweats, and vaginal dryness.

"I couldn't believe that after all I had been through, this was happening. To add insult to injury, I now had to go through menopause." - Lily

"(My struggles) with my sense of body and intimacy are compounded by the menopause." - Patti

The sudden onset of menopause can be both physically and emotionally difficult to handle. Most of the women felt that they were not prepared for it. Working through feelings in support groups, one-on-one counselling, or with other support people can help.

There is no easy answer to what treatment options, if any, women should use for menopausal symptoms. Most of the women had questions about using hormone replacement therapies (HRT) or alternative remedies. It can be frustrating how little information there is for women who go through menopause early or because of cancer treatment. Speak to your doctors about what is available, and make the decision that you feel most comfortable with. Talking with other women who have been in the same situation may also be useful.

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