"...I knew I was not walking this path alone." - Linda

"You need people who are going to help you get better…" - Heather

Coping with gynecological cancer can be overwhelming. Good support is invaluable to getting through the time around and after diagnosis. Strength and support comes from different people: your friend(s), partner, family, caregiver, health care team, support group, spiritual community, counsellor.

p The first step is telling people about your diagnosis. This can be very difficult. For some women, this feels like an invasion of privacy. Other women, for instance, women who receive attendant care, may already know what it's like to do this. As much as you can, tell people in your own time, and with another supporter around, if you feel this will help you. Telling children in language they understand, and with love and support, is important. There are books and videos that are very helpful.

A cancer diagnosis can affect all of your relationships. You may become closer to some people in your life. Other important people may back away. All of the women we spoke with had experiences where people who were meaningful to them could not cope with their cancer. At the same time, some women felt that the diagnosis gave them the chance to discover and really value their true friends.

Try to surround yourself with people who are good for you. Different people give you different things - you need positive thoughts and actions. You also need people who will be sad and angry with you, and people you can be 'just regular' with.

"You don't need to be happy all the time. It is OK. to feel awful... You need to find people who won't always want to cheer you up." - Lily

People in your circle of support will be dealing with their own feelings of fear and grief. Sometimes you may be able to respond to other people's needs, but sometimes you may not.

"My partner has been in shock, but very supportive and does little things to make it easier for me to cope. Sometimes she can't talk about the cancer." - Patti

Your supporters may want to help you, but they might feel helpless, scared and sad. They might feel uncomfortable about cancer and afraid of saying or doing the "wrong thing." You might also feel awkward or uncomfortable asking for help or asking people to back off!

Tell friends and family exactly what you need. Give yourself permission to let people know that you need to be treated in a special way sometimes. At the same time, you may want to let everyone know that sometimes you don't want to think about cancer at all.

"What I learned was that no one person could meet all of my needs - and what I needed changed depending on what I was going through at the time." - Carol

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